Happy 2015! I haven't updated this blog in quite some time due to the hectic nature of my schedule these past few months. However, I update my photo blog more often that this one, so you should check that out!

2014.. oh 2014, how I am happy you are over. There have been distinct moments scattered throughout the year that made it an overall lackluster.. disappointment, (obviously some good still thrown in) but I have learned (cliche) a lot throughout this past year, namely, a lot about myself. (so b a n a l - I know!)

THE MOCK JOB SEARCH
I attend a school where experimental education is emphasized, so I started my first co-op search in the winter to place a job that would last from July to December. I was fairly confident when I started, because I had been tailoring my resume since freshman year with leadership roles, a research internship, volunteer work, a clinical internship, a competitive GPA, ETC. But getting interviews didn't happen easily for me.. As my friends were returning back from spring break with interviews lined up, I still hadn't heard back from anyone.

Weeks went on of complete silence, and I felt my sanity was slowly deteriorating. I ended up interviewing for a few places after a month, but nothing came of them. Two employers expressed interest in a second interview but never followed up with me after I asked for a date and a time. It was hard, and I went to my co-op advisor to pinpoint what was going on, but the only thing we could do was send out my resume to more employers.

I ended up interviewing at a lab that seemed like a perfect fit - I thought the research was incredibly fascinating and meaningful. During my interview, one of the PIs recommended a book for me to read and told me that he can show me some images of said research later. Anyways, after a pretty lengthy interview, I heard back shortly afterwards and found out they gave the position to someone else.
I was pretty heartbroken at that point. Throughout this entire co-op finding journey, I couldn't help but feel like this is what my life will be like when I am interviewing for dental school. It may have seemed overdramatic, but it's how I felt, and an experience that still plagues me today.

But here's the spin to this otherwise incredibly heartbreaking (sarcasm obviously) story. As I was reading my rejection e-mail, another one had popped up about an opportunity at a dental implant company. I contacted the supervisor, interviewed shortly afterwards, and got the job.

My past co-op was the most meaningful and indicative experience I have had that secured my drive and passion for dentistry. I learned an incredible amount and was faced with some challenges throughout the way (i.e. started in a department with 3 other people, those 3 people left, 1 new person who started a few weeks prior was the only person in that dept besides me..?)
I was offered part-time a few months into my co-op, which I was very excited about. Though my role has changed exponentially since I started, I'm excited to work there this semester and build a second co-op off of it with some research work I plan to do either at Forsyth or Tufts Dental.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Things are out of your control. You may think you have it altogether and figured out, but the circumstances and timing will play a large role in the overall outcome. They work out though, not in the way you had originally thought, but they do. And if at first they do not work out, they will.. eventually, I hope (for everyone - but that's not the case in reality).

IMPROVING THYSELF
One of my personal flaws is the lack of confidence I have in myself, which was even pointed out during my co-op evaluation (you know it's a problem when...). It's gotten to a point where I automatically assume that it was my fault or mistake when something goes wrong. You could probably ask my loved ones how often I say I am a failure on any given day, and they will kindly tell you how I drive them insane sometimes. But that's something I have pinpointed and hope to improve on this year. I hope to become comfortable with the decisions I make and be a more decisive, confident person with CONVICTION.

I also hope to balance my kind of extreme ways of being a hardcore nerd and making more time for others, namely my doting and awesome friends and beyond supportive parents, and for myself. I tend to fall off the grid when I'm busy, not looking at my phone for days because everything else takes precedence. But I think it's time for me to embrace the other things in my life and enjoy what's in store instead of running from place A to B, completing task C to D, planning for E to F, and being kind of neurotic on some off days.

2014 was a pretty dry year in terms of my hobbies, and unfortunately, I have maybe read 2 or 3 books for pleasure this year. I have an assortment of novels and architecture texts in my cart that I'm excited to finally purchase and read! I haven't been able to foster my interest in design/architecture in a very long time, but no more excuses. Time to learn and to relax and to just hang with the homies. Also, to not bail out on shows on the last minute and utilize StubHub as often as I did.. I miss going to show fairly frequently, and I hope to see some awesome sets this year.

LAST NOTE
Just don't forget to be kind to yourself throughout it all. When there are people you meet, have a lot of mutual interests with, and decide that you finally feel like you can handle a relationship, but they do not reciprocate these feelings, let it go! Oh man, if I could have been more attuned to that mindset, then some other issues would not have surfaced towards the end of the year.

So cheers to 2015! [ senior year, application season.. it's finally coming to an end, this so-called college journey ]

Sam Smith's album, In the Lonely Hour, will be released in the US in a few days. However, you can listen to it on NPR First Listen RIGHT NOW. With that being said, I have been hooked onto this album for a week now. Beginning with his hit single, Money on My Mind, Smith uses his strong, soulful vocals to declare that he "[does] it for the love" above everything else. This message is similar to Price Tag's, the hit single from fellow Brit Jessie J. Building off the money<love message, in Leave Your Lover, he croons that he doesn't "[he] doesn't care for gold, what use is money when you need someone to hold?"

The theme of this album focuses on the unrequited nature of love, from not being able to obtain it because the person you're in love with is unavailable to the inability to find love yourself. I was not surprised by the theme because of Smith's comment stating that this album revolved around his personal struggle of falling in love with a dude who didn't love him back, but I was pleasantly surprised by the overall tone of this album. From his features in Disclosure's Latch to La La La, I was expecting it to be more upbeat and heavy with vocal tweaking.

Some of the lyrics get a bit lazy throughout the album, but the choruses are generally nice and put together. There weren't many vocal embellishments that triggered any grievances besides the siren wailings in the first track.

Money on My Mind is my least favorite track on the album; it's heavy on voice alteration that doesn't suit Smith's natural voice - by that, why does his voice sound like a siren? The other songs are A+ beautiful, ending with Lay Me Down, my favorite track from his EP. I would say this version of the song is a pretty balanced mix between the origin and the acoustic versions found on his EP. Also, my favorite track from this album is Not in That Way.


WILL LOVE BE MUTUAL FOR SMITH? Maybe in his next album. On a more personal note, I feel like a broken person when I listen to this album, being fully able to grasp his lyrics and the milieu set off by his voice. I'm very excited to hear what his future albums will sound like, though I am very please with his debut.

I've mentioned previously the connection between oral health and overall health - your nutrition is extremely importantly for the maintenance of both. It's easy to eat whatever you want, especially if you live in a dorm and the cafeteria is your oyster. If you're the type of person who exercises in order to cancel out the amount of calories you ate, then you probably justify eating whatever you want in order to feel great and look great. I was in that same boat until I decided that being healthy means exercise, nutrition, and productivity; don't let exercise replace nutrition! I swear eating healthy and exercising makes you feel great/look great as well!

Here are some food options to keep in mind when you're deciding what to snack on/eat for meal. Do this for your health, and do it for your teeth!

The best food choices for your mouth include: cheese, chicken (meat), nuts, and milk. These are thought to protect the enamel of your tooth by providing CALCIUM and PHOSPHOROUS needed to remineralize the teeth. As a vegetarian, the meat option is out, and I'm not much of a milk drinker, but I'm trying to change... for my teeth. I've always been a huge carbohydrate/starch person, but I'm trying to cut down on the amount of pasta and potatoes I eat...for my teeth.

Other food choices: firm/crunchy fruit (apples/pears/etc) and vegetables. These foods are high in water content, which dilutes the effects of the sugar that they contain + they stimulate the flow of saliva! Citric fruits (tomatoes/lemons) are to be eaten in moderation with other foods to minimize the acid from them that wear away the enamel.

Avoid: candy, cookies, cakes, pies, breads ( :( ) , muffins, potato chips, pretzels, french fries, bananas, raisin, and other dried fruits. These foods have a large content of sugar, catalyzing ample residences for bacteria which lead to cavities.

DRINKS: h2o, milk, and unsweetened tea. Be sure to minimize the amount of sugar you add into your tea/coffee your teeth or go black! Try it first and then gradually build up from there. I've been drinking black coffee/unsweetened tea my entire life, and maybe it's just my preference because I don't like sweet drinks, but it gets the job done. I drink coffee purely for the caffeine, though tea is more of an enjoyable experience for me.

ALSO, remember continuous drinking/eating is worse than one-time drinking/eating when it comes to sugar-y foods, because you're prolonging the time that your teeth are exposed to bacteria. So, if you're going to eat sugar-y things, binge binge binge once, wait thirty minutes, and then brush your teeth! Okay, so that's probably not the best advice, but if you're going to do it.. might as well do it right? Am I right?

Avoid artificial sweeteners. Here's more taken from Delta Dental! 

The “good guys” in fighting tooth decay

• Fiber-rich fruits and vegetables: Foods with fiber stimulate saliva flow, which is a natural defense against cavities. Not only does saliva wash away food particles and clean your mouth, about 20 minutes after you eat something, saliva begins to neutralize the acids attacking your teeth. Crisp fruits and vegetables like apples, carrots and celery not only help stimulate saliva flow, but also help clean plaque from teeth and freshen breath.
• Cheese, milk, plain yogurt and other dairy products: The calcium, phosphates and vitamin D in cheese, milk and other dairy products are important minerals for the health of your teeth. Your teeth are made mostly of calcium, and without enough in your diet, you risk developing tooth decay and other problems. An added benefit is that the calcium in these foods mixes with plaque and sticks to teeth, protecting them from acids that cause decay and helping to rebuild tooth enamel on the spot. Worried you won’t get enough calcium because you are allergic to milk or just don’t like the taste? There are many calcium-fortified juices, soy milks and other foods available that can supply as much calcium to your diet as milk does.
• Sugarless chewing gum: Chewing sugar-free gum after meals and snacks can help rinse harmful acid off your teeth to help you preserve tooth enamel. But be sure it’s sugarless! Chewing gum containing sugar may actually increase your chances of developing a cavity. Sugarless gum containing xylitol, which has been shown to have decay-preventive qualities, may even have an added benefit. Research indicates that xylitol most likely inhibits the growth of Streptococcus mutans, the oral bacteria that cause cavities.
• Green and black teas: Tea contains compounds that interact with plaque and either kill or suppress bacteria, preventing them from growing or producing tooth-attacking acid. This not only helps to prevent cavities, but also reduces inflammation and the chances of gum disease. Depending on the type of water you use to brew your tea, a cup of tea can also be a source of fluoride. Just remember: don’t add sugar to your tea.
• Water with fluoride: Fluoridated drinking water, or any product you make with fluoridated water, helps your teeth. This includes powdered juices (as long as they don’t contain a lot of sugar) and dehydrated soups. Bottled drinking water may not contain as much fluoride as water from the tap, so if this is your main source of water, be sure that you use fluoridated toothpaste and ask your dentist about fluoride supplementation.

The “bad guys” in fighting tooth decay

• Sugary candies and sweets that stay in your mouth: If you eat sweets, go for those that clear out of your mouth quickly. Those that stick around — lollipops, caramels, jelly beans and hard candies — make it difficult for saliva to wash the sugar away. Snacks like cookies, cakes or other desserts contain a high amount of sugar, which can cause tooth decay. If you eat foods like these, it's best to eat them as dessert after a main meal instead of several times a day between meals. Whenever you eat sweets — in any meal or snack — brush your teeth well with fluoride toothpaste afterward.
• Starchy, refined carbohydrates: Foods such as chips, bread, pasta or crackers can be as harmful to the teeth as candy. Starches made from white flour are simple carbohydrates and can linger in your mouth and then break down into simple sugars. Bacteria feed on these sugars and produce acid, which causes tooth decay.
• Carbonated soft drinks: Not only does regular soda contain a high amount of sugar, both regular and diet sodas also contain phosphorous and carbonation, which wear away the enamel on your teeth (causing them to become stained and brown). Many energy drinks and bottled iced teas and lemonades also contain high amounts of sugar and may contain acids that wear away tooth enamel. If you regularly consume soda, you should use a straw to keep it from having too much contact with your teeth.
• Fruit juice: Although fruit is an important part of a healthy diet, fruit juice can cause problems for your teeth. Whole fruits have fiber and are a less concentrated source of sugar (and sometimes acids). In addition, juices sometimes have sugar added to them, which can be even more damaging to your teeth. If you regularly drink fruit juices, you should use a straw to keep them from having too much contact with your teeth.
• Lemons, citrus fruits and other acidic foods: It’s OK to eat these kinds of foods, but don’t suck on them or keep them in your mouth for a long period of time. The acidic juice in these foods can erode the enamel of your teeth. Citrus fruits and foods with tomatoes (including pizza, soup and pasta sauce), pickles, honey and wine can all be damaging to your teeth if they are consumed too often or held in the mouth for too long.

1. Staedtler 10-pack Triplus Fineliners 
I am one of those people who strongly advocate for a good quality pen. Pens are so disposable nowadays and can be bought at different prices, but I have always enjoyed spending a bit more on a good set of pens that last me throughout the year. I always purchase a full set of Pilot G2 pens before the school year, because my primary method of studying is study guide making.

 I have this really odd, borderline (not borderline- downright embarrassing) level of narcissism when it comes to my study guides, even though they are often viewed as cluttered and disorganized by my friends. Anyways, that's just how I function and I enjoy a bit of chaos and disorganization sometimes? I'm not sure, but I am a huge advocate of these pens. I've tried a lot of different brands and types, ranking Zebra and Sharpie on my top list. Unlike Pilot G2s, they do not smear or bleed through paper. I've been using them regularly for around a week now, and I'm so obsessed to the point where I look forward to my daily treks to the library in order to study.. At $10, I think it's a fair price to pay for such quality and precision.

2. Takeya Ice Green Glass Water Bottle
I have a really unhealthy obsession with glass water bottles. I really enjoy the sleek, modern design of many of them, and I've tried around 3 now (other 2 were gifted - I swear my problem isn't that severe). I've been using this Takeya bottle for ONE YEAR, and it's still my favorite. I could list you out the reasons why you should switch to use a reusable water bottle instead of relying on plastic water bottles, but I'll save the lecture for next time and advise you to consider switching over for your health (BPA exposure!), finances (cheaper to use bottle than continuously buy plastic!), and for the environment.

There are so many options available nowadays at many different prices (this one is pricey for "just a water bottle" at $18 + shipping), but I do strongly recommend this bottle if you're into the design of things. Many people have asked me, "why would you use glass? don't they break easily?" I haven't had this problem at all, so I don't think this is really a con, but there are other BPA free plastic options, so start exploring!

 P.S. it's sort of large and heavier than most conventional water bottles, but.. come on, check out that celadon green.

OTHER GLASS OPTIONS: More options

3. Bodum Assam Tea Press

Reads (Around the Web):

I've noticed how heavier people are often associated with laziness, poor nutrition, and lack of exercise, often by medical professionals themselves. Then I think about the personal trainers I know who are a bit "heavier" than the otherwise legion of extremely thin and toned. Do you have to be under a certain weight in order to eat well, exercise regularly, or really, be HEALTHY? What is this obsession with correlating weight and nutrition?

Let's start off with a spectrum of people ranging from size small to size large; with the effects of genetics, environmental factors, exercise habits, and daily nutrition, every individual will weigh differently even if you hold almost every factor constant.

I think the problem is how we treat these individuals and negatively enforce the perception of "skinnier" as healthier as the ultimate preference. Blaming a person and then shaming him/her as fat is counterproductive as this study demonstrates.

On a professional level, you can't deny proper treatment of a patient due to his/her weight and then neglect to address other aspects of care by dismissing the problem as a weight problem. In dentistry, I'm sure many dentists get frustrated by people with poor oral hygiene, but that doesn't mean you can stop at "do you regularly floss/brush?" You have to tell your patients what they should be doing, but DO NOT chastise them. You are not his/her parent, but a provider with that person's best interest at heart, so yes, tell the person to do these things but don't scold them for not doing them, be attentive, and treat them like you would treat every other patient. If your patient decides to avoid going to the doctor period because of your treatment, then what is really being done about the problem?

This is not to say that it's not important for people to change their lifestyles, as obesity and other associated diseases like diabetes, heart disease, and cancer are on the rise. But tell them what they can do or what changes they should be making, step-by-step, instead of saying that they are this, this, and this.

Negatively informing this notion on another person is damaging. On a personal level, I felt overwhelming pressure from my family to lose around 8 pounds during my freshman year of college. What followed was an awful period of stress exercising and calorie counting, resulting in me resenting every part of my body that seemed to have grown with fat. I am not the type of person to feel insecure, which is not to say I'm arrogant or cocky about my appearances or demeanor, but I don't hate myself. I accept myself for who I am and how I look - trust me, growing up in a family that encouraged me to get plastic surgery since I was around eight, this a pretty grand feat to me. I grew up with negative reinforcement, and it was extremely toxic for me, catalyzing a lot of self esteem issues and identity qualms. Now that I can differentiate between my family's misappropriation of love and growing comfortable under my own skin, I can gladly say that I enjoy being healthy rather than skinny. I still run everyday, eat balanced meals, rise at 5:30 am, and sleep (kind of) and am healthier, even if I'm not ideal size 00000 that I was growing up. What matters is not my weight in number but my overall health and happiness.


"In our rush to cure the obesity epidemic, we are not only ignoring but may be worsening anti-fat prejudice and size profiling. If medical professionals want to improve public health, they might start by renewing their pledge to “first, do no harm” by treating patients of all sizes with dignity and respect."
* Though this seems contradictory to my "So, why should I floss?" post, I never shame people who don't floss. I simply tell them this is what they should be doing in order to have good oral health!

50% of Americans floss on the daily. 50%!!! Flossing is JUST AS IMPORTANT AS brushing your teeth - if you leave the spaces in between your teeth full of plaque and bacteria, you're leaving your gums susceptible to inflammation and infection, which leads to gingivitis and then periodontitis. I know I joke around with my friends, stating that if you don't floss, you will get gum disease and die, but gum disease is a prevalent problem among Americans, particularly older Americans who have left their POOR GUMS OUT TO DIE.. ALSO, did you know that gum disease is linked to other health problems like diabetes, heart diseases, and respiratory illnesses? You're also losing bone when you leave your gums unattended for, which will exponentially increase your dental bills in the future.

Oh, and because of your genetics, you may be more inclined (or less inclined) to acquire periodontitis . (a dentist I know has periodontitis)



I know that spiel was largely negative reinforced, but your oral health promotes overall health. You have these teeth for the rest of your life, so if you want to keep them, take care of them. If you're taking the proactive steps to eat nutritiously, regularly exercise, then you should be keeping your oral health in check as well by brushing at least 2x per day and flossing 1x per day. I'm not so sure how I feel about mouthwash, because though it's very effective at removing plaque and keeping your breath fresh, it also wears away your enamel.

Flossing takes ~1-2 minutes per day, and brushing takes a total of 4 (2x for 2 mins) minutes. Taking around 5 minutes everyday to promote your overall health sounds like a pretty proactive step to me!

Seriously, start flossing. It may be a bit tedious in the beginning, but I promise after a few days of flossing, it will feel rewarding. I'll be posting an in depth post about oral hygiene and ways in which to maintain your oral health soon.

TILL NEXT TIME,
A Pre-Dent with a cause

Why did people care more about Marius the giraffe's death than the 146,000 Syrians that were dying a few weeks ago? 

I was watching a Freakonomics podcast last week (highly recommend the novels, by the way), and I felt like the response and overall message was insufficient at answering the posed question. I have thought about a few theories about how, perhaps, we have become desensitized to mass atrocity and violence. If you turn on the news or go to the homepage of any news outlet, you will see a large number of headlines that revolve around crime and violence. You may see a few articles about some really great thing a person did that restores your hope in humanity, but how often does that happen? Why does the media choose to portray the violent stories over the heartwarming ones? Is it a projection of what the media wants us to see, or what we want to see from the media?

When I first heard about Marius' death, I was outraged and wanted to address my grievances to the zookeepers who justified killing an innocent animal in the name of "genetic redundancy." I can see the points in their argument - letting an animal (in perfect health) that would be socially marginalized due to his defective status live would surely impact him in many negative ways. But does it make it okay to kill him and then make a spectacle of distributing his body parts for the other animals to enjoy as food in front of people? How did people react to such a spectacle that's so violently charged?

This brings an interesting point to how we view media then. Blackfish, a documentary exposing the way that the whales are at Seaworld, stirred a lot of people to boycott Seaworld and catch on to the "FREE THE WHALES" movement. Again, I was one of the many who also shed a few tears when I was watching the documentary on Netflix and made the decision to not visit aquariums/zoos anymore. Are we arbitrarily biased to sympathize with animals rather than humans then?

I don't believe this is true. Back when KONY stirred global attention, everyone turned into an activist and donated to the Invisible Children foundation (extremely shady in 2012). When this was unfolding, I became increasingly annoyed by people who started to become advocates, because I viewed it as such a facade. I will be the first to admit that this was extremely misplaced, but at the time, I thought people were joining in on the bandwagon just for appearances instead of genuinely caring for the cause. Even if the people who shared the video and turned into advocates overnight probably haven't thought about child soldiers since 2012, the movement brought a lot of attention to an otherwise unknown issue that has been plaguing Africa.

 There's an additional dimension to this, because KONY was fueled by the internet and much of what people do to raise attention to causes takes place via the world wide web. People change their profile pictures and hold messages that bright attention to global events like #BringBackOurGirls, and I am a complete advocate for that.  (complete aside: There's a lot of criticism surrounding these actions, because "they're not really doing anything. they're just bringing attention to themselves and want people to see them as awesome!1!1!" Okay, so I can understand this perspective, because I was there, too, but even if they are bringing attention to themselves, they're ALSO bringing attention to the cause at hand. And that's more than what I think other people who are just completely idle are doing. Maybe you think that this isn't the right standard for trying to press on for change, but it's at least an effort. Though, if it's not genuine, then that's pretty wrong. </rant>)

I think it's interesting how we react and perceive things based on appearances. There are people who deem vegetarians/vegans as crazy people for not eating meat and then adamantly criticize Asian countries that participate in dog eating. Why is it that society views eating dogs as a terrible, terrible crime (which I fully agree with, BY THE WAY) but is down to have an eight course meal involving the slaughter of other animals? Why do we look at a cow and perceive it as food, but we could never imagine even hurting our pets? We can own goldfish and put them in a tank, name them , and continuously replace them after one dies, but also eat fish for dinner.

I'm not here to say this is right or wrong or attack anyone who eats meat, because I have eaten meat, too. It's just that we're so laden with contradictions that I think the concept of "right/wrong" is not so black-and-white as we deem morality to be. I'm still trying to find an answer to why we care so much about animals and care so little about people (do we actually care?) that's different than the "animals are helpless victims" approach.

 

I'm not even going to deny the fact that I have made offhanded comments about women who choose to be just homemakers and mothers without balancing a career. I often thought that throughout all of the progress that has been made and the opportunities that now exist for women, every woman should seize the opportunity and be something. Did "being something" mean staying at home, cleaning, cooking, and taking care of kids?

Maybe it's not even a womanly thing I'm concerned about - if I learn that a person, male or female, stays at home and does housework all day, I usually think "what is he/she doing with his/her life?" I would feel so empty if I had to stay in a home all day. And there is the problem with my preconceived judgments: the word I. Yes, it's very true that even a few days of idleness makes me feel unproductive, forcing me to pick up a new activity, read all day, or solve problems from a DAT workbook.

I have had one goal and one dream for the majority of my life now, so foregoing marriage and parenthood for my profession that comes extremely easily. For some people, being a good parent and creating a stable family unit are top priorities - is there something wrong with that?

I had a pretty myopic point of view for the majority of my life, because both of my parents worked insane hours while I was growing up, causing me to be shuttled from one place to the next by other guardians. They were still there to remind me to practice the clarinet/piano or to study, but they were never home when I got home from school. Do I think that their absence made an impact on the way I grew up? Perhaps, but I ended up being relatively fine in my opinion. My parents absence taught me how to be independent from a very early age, even if there are other issues at hand that may have resulted from their absence as well.

I read this article about the judgments cast on a woman who is judged by her "stay at home" or "not working outside of the home" status. The derailments she faced are very reminiscent of my own snide remarks. After reading it, it gave me more perspective on how to not judge people's decisions and let them live their damn lives. If they feel a void, they will fill it with work, additional schooling, or whatever they want - it's really not your concern. If they are afforded with the opportunity to do whatever the they want, then they should do it. Being a mother and being a homemaker are not statuses to frown upon; people are just different and in no way are these women harming you.

My senior year of high school was a particularly bleak time of solidarity, frantic breakdowns about college, and tea - lots of different types of tea that helped me stay awake till 2AM and rise at 6AM. During that time, there was one book that changed my life, attitude, and personal philosophy. I picked up The Fountainhead and finished reading it in around two days.

 Falling in love with The Fountainhead meant falling in love with Howard Roark. I finally felt like I figured out what true meaning is - we are the makers of our future, and we should fight for our ideals and never settle anything below them. Howard Roark was my canon man, the type of person who fought hard for what he loved and did not vacillate or warp his ideals into collectivist ones for greed, fame, or love.

After reading The Fountainhead, I fell in love with modern architecture and design. I began to do more research and discovered Frank Lloyd Wright, largely considered the father of modern architecture and the inspiration behind Howard Roark. There's a lot of beauty behind the philosophy of architecture; by that, I mean the ability to incorporate practicality, minimalism, and design a space that fits form and function in a way that does not incorporate excess.

My love for modern architecture and my belief that one should try to define his/her own individualistic self  are probably the only things I still carry from The Fountainhead. I used to advocate for Rand's beliefs, but two years later, I can say that I don't believe in her methods, and I believe that a person's path will not be only composed of hard work and true passion, but also roadblocks, obstacles, and unfortunate circumstances that will block a person's way not reflective of how hard they worked or how passionate they truly are. I was one of those misguided youth who identified as a libertarian.. Thankfully, I saw the light.

I picked up Atlas Shrugged, and to be completely frank, I hated it. I hated the characters, I hated the radical solution, I hated it all. It's not practical, it has a marginalized scope and view, and fails to entertain as The Fountainhead did for me. I don't believe we should have institutions specifically provided for only "the great thinkers" of our time nor do I believe that the solution is to remove everyone else i.e. the looters. There will always be looters i.e. people are motivated solely for money, power, status/ etc.  without regards to the integrity of the product he/she is selling, "the good guys" the people who have ideals that they fervently stand by without fluctuating for any cause, and the rest who are idle or collective or whatever Rand wants to characterize them as.

 Though I still question what the intentions behind altruism are, if it's a selfish or selfless practice, I fervently believe that altruism is necessary in this world. It boils down to the fact that many people brush off others who want to help as idealistic or naive, but in reality, if those people did not do it, then who would? And then what would happen to society if everyone stopped caring?

It's important, in my opinion, to read these books but to also really consider how society has functioned and the changes that are in our political and global sphere that can once again alter it to a new ideal. I took away a lot from Rand when I was searching for meaning, as well as from Thoreau's books and existentialism. They shaped a lot of the things about the self and helped me reached a sense of security; however, I believe that there will always be selfish and selfless ways to act.

Though I still believe that the meaning of life is to give live a meaning, I think it's important to also consider how your meaning of life affects others. Every person is different, follows a completely different path in life that affect the outcomes. We are composed of genes, mutations, and deletions that affect how we function - to deny the importance of science in this regard is being myopic. Science explains the phenomena in our world, and no matter how rigid or "one answer" it may seem, it contributes a lot to the discussion of why and how things are the way they are. It is not a completely rigid field, as discoveries on a daily basis prove or disprove past conclusions. Essentially, we are all product of nature AND nurture, so clearly, we will not be a homogenous group with homogenous meanings and ideas. To accept that is the key to moving forward.

Jokingly, half-jokingly, but mostly seriously, I tend to use the phrase "my girl" to attribute any woman who I deeply resonate with and look up to. There are a flock of women from every corner of my life, from my favorite professors to leading historical figures, from the woman who asks me about school at my favorite restaurant to the one who knows my favorite foods by heart and encourages me to try my best every day - the number of women who inspire me grows daily, and I can't help feel an overwhelming sense of revery when I meet one who is, simply put, kickass.

I've been questioning the necessity of labels these days - why do we have to identify ourselves as feminists if people who are not bigots do not have to brand themselves as  "tolerant human beings?" I have always believed that men and women were equal politically, socially, and economically, but it was not until my first year of college that I started to discover the disparities between the two sexes in the work environment and even, the very streets we walk on.

 Though I can see eye-to-eye in many different topics of feminism that constitute "right" and "wrong," I struggle with ideologies that have been so heavily engrained and repeated to me that I feel as if they are not habits but definable traits. What do I mean by that? I know that wearing makeup is conforming to the idea that beauty trumps all; there are far more things that have greater value and significance than "a pretty face," but why do I feel the need to step out of my apartment everyday after spending ten or so minutes in front of the mirror drawing things on my face? Maybe, we think that we put on makeup for ourselves to feel good about our image, and perhaps, yes, this is an individual choice that I am making for myself, but do you put on makeup every morning you wake up even if you plan on staying in all day?

Though I struggle with makeup, occasionally obsessing about how I look and my image, I try every day to break from it with sometimes, a productive amount of success (or slim to none to a step backwards). (This could also just be an issue of self consciousness that's imminent in males and females). Regardless, I remember the women who stepped away from what society expected them to be and just.. did the damn thing.


Rosalind Franklin, my science star and moon, my girl to every extreme and the true founder of DNA - I often think of how she spent so many years working for a goal with every intention of achieving it without any distractions. Though she wanted to have children, she knew that she couldn't, because she couldn't fully dedicate herself to both in a manner she wanted. After spending her life racing for the helix and then having her work stolen from her, she died of cancer at the age of 38. Everyone should read about her and roll his/her eyes every time Crick and Watson are mentioned.

(t b c next week! Check out my weekly segment on some truly wonderful wom(xx)n in history!

NOTE: I know that I have not updated this personal blog for quite some time, but I think I'm going to try to update more frequently now that things are more easygoing and less hectic in my life. Actually, that's not quite true, but I do enjoy the summer session more than I enjoy the regular semesters. Currently, I'm taking two summer classes, continuing with my shifts at the BHCHP dental clinic, shadowing, and ..not sleeping. I'll be starting my first co-op at Bicon Dental Implants at the end of June! Anyways, back to more relevant information..

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I have been sporadically thinking about three people - complete strangers whose existence I only know of due to the internet - since May 5. Karolina, Shane, and Calvin were Heartland Nomads, a team of three individuals who set out in a van for twelve weeks to visit multiple high schools, colleges, and churches to speak about the human rights crisis in North Korea. After a tragic car accident in Lubbock, Texas, all three passed away. Without warning, only a few days before they were supposed to journey back to their respective homes and eagerly awaiting families, their lives stopped shortly after they had begun.


By that, I mean the decision that each one of them made when they decided to become a nomad. I became increasingly interested in North Korea during my genocide class last semester. I have been aware of the crisis largely due to the fact that's it's a frequently discussed topic in my South Korean family. Though we often discussed the famine and the repressive and inhumane conditions found in the prison camps in North Korea, I grew up almost indifferent to the plight of the people. In some instances, though we were linked together as Koreans, the geography of a few hundred miles marked them as the other, our far away neighbors instead of our people. I think about how 1953 was 61 years ago, and how in retrospect, that is an extremely short period of time; the consequences and effects of the Korean War linger on when we compare the state of South Korea and North Korea today.

North Koreans are subjected to strict laws that control much of the activity and information they are exposed to. They are not allowed to leave cities without permits or access outside information that indeed confirm that they are oppressed. Much of the media focuses on Kim Jong Un, Dennis Rodman, and the nuclear crisis, but there is rarely any information (excluding the UN Human Rights Report that came out a few months ago) that focuses in on the terrible conditions that North Koreans are still facing. They face extreme poverty and extreme surveillance from the government; punishments extend to three generations of the families. It boggles my mind on a daily basis how we shouted "never again" after 1945, but then, I look at Syria, Darfur, Sudan - it's everywhere.

ALL OR NOTHING

I like to think that every person has experienced this at some point - a moment when they stop to think about how certain practices and atrocities still plague our society today when the consequences of similar historical/current events stirred us, moved us, and turned us into walking regrets. The lack of action, in my opinion, is due to the fact that given this information, people decide that their only options are to completely ratify said practice or do absolutely nothing. It's impossible, even with large movements and revolutions, to completely abolish a practice like genocide, sex slavery, or even, bigotry.

When we realize that any personal contribution we make is largely insignificant, we resume the "do nothing" stance. By doing this, we are subscribing to the ideal that one person cannot cause change. Even if this may be true on the larger scale, change begins with YOU. However small you think your contribution is, the easiest step any person can take is just educating themselves about what is going on. Ignorance is a powerful weapon that facilitates atrocity; when we examine history and realize that our officials "knew" when these things were occurring, we mutter under out breaths about our outrage and blame it on the government then. Simply by becoming aware of what is going on, we can acknowledge that it is wrong and something that should not be normalized in our own society or everyday life.

 I believe that every individual can make some type of contribution - whatever you do, do not be idle. Every person can contribute to change, and though this may seem idealistic, change is attainable. We misinterpret what change is and expect radical results. However, the result will not be perfect, because nothing ever will be truly immaculate, but it's a step in the right direction. My belief is that the lack of action by others is due to three reasons:
1. The overwhelming nature of the situation, leading to inaction as a coping mechanism not to confront the issue.
2. Ignorance about the issue
3. Indifference

These three individuals were passionate, driven, and selfless enough to devote their time to raise awareness about thousands of people they have never met. They have seen them through the internet, in the same lens that I have when I view them, and they still decided that they would advocate for them.  They encompass active members of society who strive for change.

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Before I die, I will be productive for change every day. Karolina, Shane, and Calvin - though ou did not live to see the day that North Korea is liberated, I promise the LiNK team will continue on advocating for Liberty in North Korea.

I live for weekends full of summer rain, horror films, and an endless supply of Toblerone and Naked Juice. This past weekend, I saw a few films that I wanted to review/recommend. When it comes to the genres of movies I enjoy, I will be upfront and tell you that I live for horror/psychological thrillers. Once in a while, I'll lounge with my friends and watch a romantic comedy or go to theater to see the extremely hyped action movie, but I mostly enjoy grim tales that have really frank endings and interesting characters. I enjoy watching Korean movies, because the cinematography is endlessly beautiful and the acting is on point. You could say that I watch them simply for those aesthetic purposes, but the plots are also pretty interested, deranged, and telling.

Before you read this review, I wanted to admit that I am completely biased in every regard for Archy Marshall AKA King Krule, skewing of course to the fangirl swooning level that is probably not the most reliable for music reviews. I have been an avid fan of Archy Marshall circa his Zoo Kid era, replaying Baby Blue and his EP throughout my angsty teenage phase every night until my teeth fell out. I've been following the hype for 6 Feet Beneath the Moon for quite some time now, and August 24 is finally a-coming.

does he know
who you are
does he laugh
just to think
what he has
does he know
not to talk
about your dad
does he know when you're sad
you don't like to be touched
let alone kissed
does he know where your lips begin
do you know
who you are
do you laugh
just to know
what i lack
do you know
your lips shake
when you're mad
do you notice when you're sad
you don't like to be touched
let alone kissed
does his love make your head spin