there are just too many things that don't need to coexist with these damn fragments of indecisiveness and jealousy, even curiosity, sometimes. i'm tired. i don't sleep enough, and when i do, i just feel more tired and want to hide away again in the cocoon that is becoming my bed. i'm growing more and more apathetic as every day goes by, and i just don't even know what i want, what i like - that part is iffy, because i do know what i like and who i love, and i don't even know what this is about anymore. i'm just tired. the bags under my eyes say it, my indifferent/(un)energetic attitude shows it........... and to be completely frank, i think, for the most part, i just really stopped caring about a lot of things that meant so much to me, especially a lot of the people who used to trigger certain memories and take me away a lane of nostalgia and happy places. those places don't exist anymore, and i'm starting to really understand the concept and idea of differentiating between the life you're leading right now and the life you once led, equipped with all of the people and things that used to mean so much more than a small smile and acknowledgement. in a sense, i guess i'm replacing those things and people with things and people who really matter more than trite words and small paragraphs encoded in late birthday cards and early congratulations. i guess, in a way, you don't matter, and i'm starting to accept that more and more.