omnia erit

Love, lil sis <3

P.S. One of the items on my bucket list is to see the Northern Lights, and I always imagined myself getting proposed in Alaska... (Dream Big, Or Go Home) This resort in Finland features glass igloos, log cabins, and apparently, the world's largest sauna! Though the price for one night isn't very modest- and by that I mean one night in a grand glass igloo in the subarctic weather will cost you $1000- be assured that your experience will definitely be unforgettable! 

ACTIVITIES

AWKWARD. I don't know how popular this show is, but I've been following it pretty well. It's the pretty typical high school television setup, but the lead male character is very goodlooking. I think my obsession could possibly stem from his good looks? Heh, but the episodes are relatively short, so I do recommend it if you want to kill some time!

i'm really content with my list, and even if i get rejected from hopkins early, which is likely, i'll be content knowing that the next four years of my life will be spent at a great institution. i'm also happy that my schools are on the east coast, because i can't imagine living in a different time zone from my parents, and having a multitude of miles separating me from them. anyways, i have homework, studying, and essay writing to do! 

Have a great day : )

if only they were for me.

but every time my mind wanders, and an image of you,

starts to take shape, i can't help but feel that if i were lying,

next to you again, then things would've been different.

you wouldn't have pushed me away, and i wouldn't have,

thrown out all of those good notions about you, and walked the other,

way when i saw you with your friends, or even by yourself.

if i were the way i am right now then, we probably,

would have been different, but i guess certain things happen for,

a reason, and i shouldn't bask in the past. do i hope you're well?

i guess i have to, but honestly,

i just hope you find something- not even someone, but

one thing that means a lot more to you than your own

being. 

as for you, i know you're surrounded by new people,

and you're in a different place than what you're used to,

but i can tell that you've adjusted, and you're probably changing,

someone else's life, but this time, an ending won't come too abruptly,

and maybe something will even happen. i guess i can only see from

a very far distance, and be happy that you're doing so well.

i wish you could see me now.

i don't dwell on it though, so don't worry.

i'm okay- i'm fine. i'm happy.

i can't rely on others to find myself.

especially, especially, you.
i don't think i'll ever understand this paradox,
of you and i, me and you,
whatever that's even supposed to me.
i feel like i've already given so much of myself to you,
let you see things that i don't ever stare at, and tell you things,
that i don't say aloud. if life were an investment, then
i know i've lost more than i've gained, and in the end,
what's more important is my net gain,
but from you, today, tomorrow,
next year-
i just
don't
know.

i want a place where i could strictly focus on writing things,

whether it be poetry, or sporadic blogging- i'm not quite sure,

but i know i won't be distracted by banal quotes,

and picturesque images of beautiful people,

and black-and-white places.

lock-and-key, why can't things be so simple?
i wish there weren't so many complications,
and issues in between simple activities.
i wish i weren't so preoccupied with futile things,
and had a focus that was solely motivated
on doing well in school, and completing everything in
a timely manner. i can't shake this laziness off,
but i will try. i need to work hard in order
to succeed. and everything that comes in between,
will have to stay out of the lines until
the leaves depart. i do love you, autumn,
please treat me well.


//**EDIT 9/24/11

Hey, you, great human being who has decided to embark on the musings of my life- if you read my very first post, then I bet you're thinking of how morbid and depressing my thoughts are, and trust me, they can really be super melodramatic and exaggerated, so I hope this new introduction eases well. For the next year, I would like to record every aspect of my senior year, to a very distinct and small population. I want to see how at seventeen, my life changes and most importantly, I want to stay positive and optimistic on this journey. I know life will have it's negative slopes, and there will be plenty of posts regarding disappointment and sadness, but overall, I would like to keep this blog streaming with things I love, people I love, dreams, goals, music, art, vague aspects of history- okay abridged version: me.
The biggest goal I have for myself before entering college is to live happily independently, and to acquire good habits, and leave my home and my parents with their full support and trust. I do love my family too much to disappoint them with possible arrest warrants, news headlines, drug dealings.. The typical? Ha ha. All jokes aside, I want to look back on this blog, and see how much I change in the course of one year!