everything i write,
is pretentious,
just like that statement.



i guess if i could have it any other way,
you would still be here,
and i wouldn't.

the workload is gradually piling up,
and i need to be better in order,
to get what i ultimately want,
and when the time comes,
i won't bask in remorse and anger.
i want to be able to hit submit,
with the feeling that i tried,
my hardest, and if that's not good enough,
i'll have to move on to the next best thing,
which may as well have been the best thing after all.


three more months