omnia erit

2014: A Summary

Happy 2015! I haven't updated this blog in quite some time due to the hectic nature of my schedule these past few months. However, I update my photo blog more often that this one, so you should check that out!

2014.. oh 2014, how I am happy you are over. There have been distinct moments scattered throughout the year that made it an overall lackluster.. disappointment, (obviously some good still thrown in) but I have learned (cliche) a lot throughout this past year, namely, a lot about myself. (so b a n a l - I know!)

THE MOCK JOB SEARCH
I attend a school where experimental education is emphasized, so I started my first co-op search in the winter to place a job that would last from July to December. I was fairly confident when I started, because I had been tailoring my resume since freshman year with leadership roles, a research internship, volunteer work, a clinical internship, a competitive GPA, ETC. But getting interviews didn't happen easily for me.. As my friends were returning back from spring break with interviews lined up, I still hadn't heard back from anyone.

Weeks went on of complete silence, and I felt my sanity was slowly deteriorating. I ended up interviewing for a few places after a month, but nothing came of them. Two employers expressed interest in a second interview but never followed up with me after I asked for a date and a time. It was hard, and I went to my co-op advisor to pinpoint what was going on, but the only thing we could do was send out my resume to more employers.

I ended up interviewing at a lab that seemed like a perfect fit - I thought the research was incredibly fascinating and meaningful. During my interview, one of the PIs recommended a book for me to read and told me that he can show me some images of said research later. Anyways, after a pretty lengthy interview, I heard back shortly afterwards and found out they gave the position to someone else.
I was pretty heartbroken at that point. Throughout this entire co-op finding journey, I couldn't help but feel like this is what my life will be like when I am interviewing for dental school. It may have seemed overdramatic, but it's how I felt, and an experience that still plagues me today.

But here's the spin to this otherwise incredibly heartbreaking (sarcasm obviously) story. As I was reading my rejection e-mail, another one had popped up about an opportunity at a dental implant company. I contacted the supervisor, interviewed shortly afterwards, and got the job.

My past co-op was the most meaningful and indicative experience I have had that secured my drive and passion for dentistry. I learned an incredible amount and was faced with some challenges throughout the way (i.e. started in a department with 3 other people, those 3 people left, 1 new person who started a few weeks prior was the only person in that dept besides me..?)
I was offered part-time a few months into my co-op, which I was very excited about. Though my role has changed exponentially since I started, I'm excited to work there this semester and build a second co-op off of it with some research work I plan to do either at Forsyth or Tufts Dental.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Things are out of your control. You may think you have it altogether and figured out, but the circumstances and timing will play a large role in the overall outcome. They work out though, not in the way you had originally thought, but they do. And if at first they do not work out, they will.. eventually, I hope (for everyone - but that's not the case in reality).

IMPROVING THYSELF
One of my personal flaws is the lack of confidence I have in myself, which was even pointed out during my co-op evaluation (you know it's a problem when...). It's gotten to a point where I automatically assume that it was my fault or mistake when something goes wrong. You could probably ask my loved ones how often I say I am a failure on any given day, and they will kindly tell you how I drive them insane sometimes. But that's something I have pinpointed and hope to improve on this year. I hope to become comfortable with the decisions I make and be a more decisive, confident person with CONVICTION.

I also hope to balance my kind of extreme ways of being a hardcore nerd and making more time for others, namely my doting and awesome friends and beyond supportive parents, and for myself. I tend to fall off the grid when I'm busy, not looking at my phone for days because everything else takes precedence. But I think it's time for me to embrace the other things in my life and enjoy what's in store instead of running from place A to B, completing task C to D, planning for E to F, and being kind of neurotic on some off days.

2014 was a pretty dry year in terms of my hobbies, and unfortunately, I have maybe read 2 or 3 books for pleasure this year. I have an assortment of novels and architecture texts in my cart that I'm excited to finally purchase and read! I haven't been able to foster my interest in design/architecture in a very long time, but no more excuses. Time to learn and to relax and to just hang with the homies. Also, to not bail out on shows on the last minute and utilize StubHub as often as I did.. I miss going to show fairly frequently, and I hope to see some awesome sets this year.

LAST NOTE
Just don't forget to be kind to yourself throughout it all. When there are people you meet, have a lot of mutual interests with, and decide that you finally feel like you can handle a relationship, but they do not reciprocate these feelings, let it go! Oh man, if I could have been more attuned to that mindset, then some other issues would not have surfaced towards the end of the year.

So cheers to 2015! [ senior year, application season.. it's finally coming to an end, this so-called college journey ]